I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
