ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
