I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize