hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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