It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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