they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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