so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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