did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
