I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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