I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
