My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Randomize
