At least make sure they are 18
Why
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
