i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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