the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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