You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
