so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
