i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
