I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Too much gin, very little bucket
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
