Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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