We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
