Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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