you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
