I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Two words: nipple clamps
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