The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
