Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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