THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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