Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
