Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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