I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
