What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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