Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize