people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
