im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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