she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize