If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
