i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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