The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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