This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
This house was built for laser tag.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
