...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
