i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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