Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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