you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
