okay pat passed out under dana's car
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize