Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize