Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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