This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
