with your own penis?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
