So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
