break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
