fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
