apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
