does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
God, I missed his penis.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
