I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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