Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize