I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
