Say something about gay babies.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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