My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
