some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
