i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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