MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
