I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize
