But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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